Thursday, February 26, 2015

On Turning 26

I don’t know exactly how it started, but I have gotten into this habit of writing on my birthday and posting it here as a way, perhaps, to keep myself accountable to all I promise. Sometimes being a dreamer and goal maker seems advantageous and helps me get to where I hope I will go. Other times, I dream about what a year might bring and decide the best strategy is absolutely no strategy at all.  

Last year, I dreamed about being brave when facing transition, seeking community, finding quiet moments, and learning more about myself. To read my words, “I just know this year holds so much newness and important steps for me,” makes me smile at the pure foreshadowing of it! Did I know I would be engaged to the man of my dreams just one year later? Reading my post makes me think as though I certainly had a sense that something very much life-altering was going to occur. I am so happy it is Robert and that my life is changing to include him always.

I talked about my parents moving away from Germany and the transition my family was facing. I wrote that we must be brave and one year later, the same rings true. It is surprising actually to see me talk about transition as though it is a phase we must persevere through. Did I not yet realize that our lives are (I hope!) constantly in motion? It is now that I realize, we are always learning, growing, dreaming of how to make our lives better, and how to make other’s lives better too. What a major lesson to begin to grasp.

This year, I don’t only want to endure the change and face it bravely, but embrace it wholeheartedly excited to see what the change might bring because I trust God is love and in control.

I thought I might be sad to leave 25 behind and turn the page on a new year. As one dear friend reminded me, I am closer to 30 now than 20. Even my brother wrote from Burma to remind me that in the eyes of a guy still in college, I am getting old. I am excited though to become stronger, more of an adult, embracing all the responsibility that comes along with it. I have always been introspective, even as child I think I wondered about my purpose and what I was meant to do. I love how with every year, I transition into a greater awareness of myself.

This year, I look back and treasure seeing my family a little more often since we live in the same country. I am thankful for how Robert and I have built our relationship over the year and how excited I am knowing I will be writing about our life together on every birthday from this one on.  I have loved learning more about love and how important it is to express it in small ways and with grand gestures. This year, I do not only want love those around me as much as I can, but also make sure they know it.

I have grown professionally as well and feel so blessed to have the opportunity to work for an organization with a mission that wakes me up every morning and motivates me forward because I know the work is bringing hope to others. I have learned more about equity and been stirred by conversations on how to provide children with an equal opportunity for success. This is a subject I will continue studying (probably for much longer than this coming year) because it is not only relevant to my work, but must be relevant to my life.

Loving others with all I am and advocating for equity, in the sense of equal opportunity for all children in school and life, seem like incredibly daunting goals for a new year. Perhaps it is best to say that I want to approach all things with clear eyes and a full heart. To stay informed and aware of the needs around me. To do my best  and love the best I can and at the end of the day, not grow bitter because there is much more to be done, but find peace in knowing we are ALL doing our very best.

26, I am just going to do my best at being good at you. I am going to have peace about all the unknowns and discover all you have in store for me and my loved ones one step at a time. I am going to learn so much and take it all to heart. Here’s to you! You are going to be the best one yet! 

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